Confidential RSVP counselors are available 24/7

24/7 Emergency Support

If you need immediate medical care or are in danger, please call:

  • On Campus:  314-935-5555
  • Off-Campus:  911

In the moment emotional support, please call:

  • Provident WashU:  314-935-6666
  • SARAH Peer Counseling during the academic year: 314-935-8080

There is no such thing as a “typical” sexual assault or abusive relationship. Sexual and relationship violence can happen to anyone, regardless of age, race, gender, class, status, sexual orientation, ability, religion or physical appearance.

Remember, you are not to blame, even if:

The person who hurt you was an acquaintance, date, friend or partner
You have been sexually intimate with that person or with others before
You were drinking or using drugs
You froze and did not or could not say “no,” or were unable to fight back physically

The aftermath of sexual assault and/or relationship violence: Am I supposed to feel this way?

Regardless of your gender identity or sexual orientation, sexual assault and relationship violence are both trauma. The traumas of sexual assault and/or relationship violence involve losing control of your own body and possibly fearing death or injury. There are certain ways that human beings react to trauma that are the same for all gender identities. Rape Trauma Syndrom (RTS) is a term that mental health professionals use to describe the common reactions that occur after sexual assault and/or relationship violence. RTS is not an illness or abnormal reaction—it is a normal reaction to an abnormal, traumatic event.

Because of social complicating factors, some groups of people can be affected by sexual assault in other, unique ways. You can learn about some of the unique reactions of masculine-identified survivors or LGBTQIA+ survivors.

Common reactions to RSV

Though each person and situation is unique, a range of reactions are shared by many people who have experienced sexual assault and/or relationship violence; it is normal to expect some or all of these emotions. The following is a list of common responses that the trauma of sexual assault and/or relationship violence can provoke in people of all gender identities though it is important to remember that reactions are individual and may not be captured by this list.

Emotional Shock: I feel numb. How can I be so calm? Why can’t I cry?
Disbelief and/or Denial: Did it really happen? Why me? Maybe I just imagined it. It wasn’t really rape.
Embarrassment: What will people think? I can’t tell my family or friends.
Shame: I feel dirty, like there’s something wrong with me. I can’t get clean.
Guilt: I feel as if it’s my fault, or I should’ve been able to stop it. If only I had…
Depression: How am I going to get through the semester? I’m so tired! I feel so hopeless. Maybe I’d be better off dead.
Powerlessness: Will I ever feel in control again?
Disorientation: I don’t even know what day it is, or what class I’m supposed to be in. I keep forgetting things.
Flashbacks: I’m still re-living the assault. I keep seeing that face and feeling like it’s happening all over again.
Fear: I’m scared of everything. What if I have an STI? I can’t sleep because I’ll have nightmares. I’m afraid to go out. I’m afraid to be alone.
Anxiety: I’m having panic attacks. I feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t stop shaking. I feel overwhelmed.
Anger: I feel like killing the person who attacked me!
Physical Stress: My stomach (or head or back) aches all the time. I feel jittery and don’t feel like eating.